


drunk off his ass he forgets everything

by coffeeless



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Canon Compliant, Drinking, Fluff, M/M, just go see a dentist fml, oikawa is drunk as fuck and iwaizumi doesn't really know how to handle him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7302145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeless/pseuds/coffeeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa just stares, his hands clenching and unclenching in his lap. Tooru then bites his lips nervously, hiccuping, and asks,” Are you single?”</p><p>Iwaizumi laughs and leans closer to him. “No, I’m sorry. I’m dating a very drunk dork.” He says, and before that can register in Oikawa’s very drunk mind, Hanamaki pipes up.</p><p>“He’s actually dating you, Oikawa.” He says, and Tooru looks over at him slowly, frowning slightly.</p><p>"Wha?"</p><p>or,</p><p>Makki and Mattsun get Oikawa so drunk that he doesn't recognize anyone, not even his own boyfriend. Iwaizumi decides to play along for the fun of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	drunk off his ass he forgets everything

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like an hour because i got so excited for the idea  
> \---  
> only edited by me, so pointing out mistakes I can fix are appreciated!!
> 
> [[Edit 8/1/2016: holy shit!!!!!! 300 kudos on something I wrote within like an hour!!!!! thank you so much I'm freaking out and sobbing omfg asdfghjkl]]
> 
> [[Edit 10/5/2016: there are so many extra commas in this, fixed that, awkward wording fixed too and some grammar. IM SO SORRY TO ANYONE READING THIS BEFORE THE EDIT IM CRINGING, I LOVE YOU ALL]]

Iwaizumi doesn’t really know what to do with his boyfriend when he gets drunk.

It’s not like Tooru can’t handle himself and relies on Iwaizumi; he’s not even a lightweight. But sometimes, when he’s drunk off his ass, he forgets rationality and and loses all shame.

Or something, Iwaizumi doesn’t know. All he knows is that whenever he gets like this, it’s up to Hajime to either sober him up or drag his ass back home before he embarrasses himself.

So when Matsukawa and Hanamaki invited him and Oikawa out for drinks in their third year at university, he thought nothing of it. It was like any other day that they went out for a few drinks to strip off the stress of school, so why should he be suspicious?

But he should have, he swears to god he should have.

Mattsun and Makki took them to a nearby, somewhat packed, bar they frequented and ordered drinks on them. Pretty normal, maybe more polite than usual but Iwaizumi passed it off as the excitement for the night.

It wasn’t until Makki started to shove three to many drinks in front of Tooru that Iwaizumi knew he would start to regret going out with the duo. Matsukawa, who Hajime could see in the corner of his eye, was trying to muffle his snickers when Oikawa chucks back his nth drink, his cheeks flushed a deep red. Iwaizumi was sure that he was way past double digits.

“Hey, Oikawa, you feeling okay?” Matsukawa asks teasingly as Oikawa leans on him, a lazy smile on his face. He’d been leaning blearily on Matsukawa for a while now. He perks up at his name, looking up at Matsukawa in surprise.

He blinks at him, then narrows his eyes, confusion written over his face. Iwaizumi suppresses a smile. “How…” Tooru starts, then leans away from Mattsun. His voice heavily slurred. “How do you know my name?”

Matsukawa raises his eyebrows in surprise, while Hanamaki bursts out laughing behind him. Iwaizumi bites his lip, staring at the back of Oikawa’s head in worry. He was facing away from Hajime, so it was hard to see his expression now.

“I-” Matsukawa bites his lip, trying hard to suppress a laugh. “I’m magical. I know everyone's name.” He says, and Tooru looks at him with disbelief, rearing back from him.

“Nu-uh. That’s not-” He hiccups, and leans onto the booth cushion for support. “That’s not possible.”

Matsukawa can’t help but snicker now, as Hanamaki is clutching his stomach, muttering in between wheezes,” He so fucking drunk he forgot! He forgot- oh my god…” He bursts into giggles and Iwaizumi leans on the table, glaring at the duo.

He now knew why they asked them out on a Saturday night instead of Friday, they wanted to make sure that he and Oikawa didn’t have anything to do the next day so they could see how drunk they could get Tooru. He sighs and accepts his fate.

“No, it is!” Mattsun insists. “I know your name, and everyone’s at the table.” It was only the four of them, but Tooru doesn’t even look around, accepting that Matsukawa has done something amazing. Oikawa has yet to look at Hajime behind, and Iwaizumi wonders if he forgot everyone he went out with.

He sees Hanamaki take out his phone and face the camera to Oikawa, muttering,” I’m fucking putting this on online.”

“Really?” Oikawa asks suspiciously, then noticing Hanamaki. He points at him, staring defiantly at Matsukawa. “Then what’s his name, huh?”

Matsukawa turns and looks at Hanamaki, smirks when he sees he’s filming, then turns back to Oikawa. “He’s Hanamaki Takahiro.” Iwaizumi notices how he left out that they were dating.

Tooru then looks at Hanamaki. “Is that true?” Hanamaki nods, biting his lip with a large smile. Oikawa then looks back to Matsukawa in awe. “How did you-”

“I’m magical, I told you.” Mattsun says smugly. He then looks to Iwaizumi, who scowls in return. “I even know that guys name; Iwaizumi Hajime.”

Tooru eyes light up, turning to see Hajime. Iwaizumi gives him a blank look when he notices that Oikawa froze up, staring. Iwaizumi nods in acknowledgment, and Oikawa’s ears turn red. He keeps blinking, as if he can’t fathom that Iwaizumi was there. The thought makes him smile.

“W-wha…” Oikawa is a loss for words, and the duo starts laughing again. “When did you get here?” Tooru asks, leaning to him.

Iwaizumi snorts, and takes a sip of his drink. “I was here all along. Do you know me?” He goes along with it, considering Oikawa wouldn't remember this in the morning.

Tooru's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. “The whole time? Did I- did I sit with you guys by- by accident? Oh no…” He looks dejected, hiccuping through his sentence in his drunken state. His face was ablaze and Iwaizumi takes pity.

“No, you’re fine. We invited you to join us.” He says, considering it wasn’t really a lie, and Oikawa looks relieved. He fiddles with his fingers.

“I’m Oikawa.” A pause, and Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. “Tooru.” He adds, and nervously looks away to Matsukawa. Iwaizumi briefly wonders that if they have never met until this moment, if this was how it would turn out.

But he just nods in return, saying, “You already know my name.” He then sees that Oikawa's looking helplessly at Matsukawa and Iwaizumi laughs lightly. “Tooru, you don’t have to be nervous.” Oikawa freezes up and looks at him again.

Whoops, he probably shouldn’t have used his first name, considering that Oikawa didn’t really recognize him. It was a habit than anything else by now though. “Ah- sorry…” He trails off, and once again glares at the snickering duo. Hanamaki continues to film.

Oikawa shakes his head and offers a nervous smile. “Not it’s fine! Super- super fine!” He hiccups, and leans forward, lowering his eyes. “You can call me To-Tooru anytime.”

Iwaizumi, smiling smugly to himself with the knowledge that Oikawa would flirt with him even when he thinks they’ve never met and leans in too. “Okay then. You can call me Hajime then. Or a nickname.”

Tooru tilts his head, thinking. Matsukawa speaks up. “How about Iwa-chan?”

“Love of my life?” Hanamaki suggests.

“Apple of my eye?” Matsukawa asks.

“My one and only?” Hanamaki says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Iwaizumi.

Oikawa hiccups, interrupting them and exclaims,” Iwa-chan!” He's smiling widely, and Iwaizumi grins at him. He then, on impulse, kisses his nose.

Tooru gasps, leaning away in surprise. He then leans forward again, eyes lighting up. “You- you like me too?” He whispers, as if mesmerized, and Iwaizumi mentally shrugs and gives him a short kiss on the lips.

Tooru gasps again, causing him to hiccup violently, and it looks like his whole body blushes. Iwaizumi wonders how Oikawa could turn so innocent. Matsukawa and Hanamaki are back to uncontrollable laughter while Iwaizumi can’t keep the grin off his face.

Oikawa just stares, his hands clenching and unclenching in his lap. Tooru then bites his lips nervously, hiccuping, and asks,” Are you single?”

Iwaizumi laughs, realizes that Oikawa's is failing at flirting with him, and leans in closer. “No, I’m sorry. I’m dating a very drunk dork.” He says, and before that can register in Oikawa’s very drunk mind, Hanamaki pipes up.

“He’s actually dating you, Oikawa.” He says, and Tooru looks over at him slowly, frowning.

“Wadua- what do ya mean? He said- yes? When?” He asks, his hiccuping is getting worse, and he’s now starting to slur a lot more. Iwaizumi mentally notes to take him home soon.

Matsukawa snorts and says,” About three years ago, you drunk loser.” Tooru looks at him with a surprised expression, then turns to Hajime with very obvious hope. Hajime just racks his hand through Tooru’s hair, and he leans into the touch, closing his eyes.

“I’m putting this online, oh my god.” Makki mutters again, smirking down at his phone. Matsukawa then chuckles.

“Should we show this to Oikawa in the morning?” He asks, and Iwaizumi laughs at the imaginary Tooru freaking out when watching the video.

“Can we please?” Hajime asks, and Makki hums in approval.

Oikawa’s phone dings in his pocket, but he’s too busy staring at Iwaizumi in awe to take it out. “I sent it to him so he’ll see it in the morning. "Makki informs and Matsukawa laughs.

“How cruel, first thing he’ll do is watch himself being dumb.” Mattsun jests, then pokes Oikawa for his attention.

Tooru doesn’t really acknowledge him other than glance at him for a second then stares back at Hajime. Matsukawa huffs, but asks, "Oikawa, you ready to go home?” Iwaizumi’s glad that at least one of the duo, at the very least, is worried for Oikawa’s health.

Iwaizumi keeps running his hand through Oikawa’s hair and looks up at Matsukawa after Oikawa doesn’t respond. “I’ll take him home. You can go on now.” He says with a grin.

Hanamaki is already standing by the time he finished his sentence, dragging Mattsun out of the bar. Matsukawa gives a lazy salute and Makki waves, then they were gone. How suspiciously efficient.

“Are we- we really dating?” Tooru asks suddenly, and Iwaizumi looks back down at him. He then ruffles his hair, earning a silent pout.

“Yeah, for three years now.” He replies, and nudges Oikawa out of the booth, helping him stand by letting him lean heavily against him. Tooru’s smile never leaves his face.

“How come- how come I- I don’t remember?” He asks, and Iwaizumi laughs, practically dragging him out of the bar. No one even glances at him, for which he’s thankful.

“You're so fucking drunk off your ass you forgot everything.” He says, hailing a taxi that was driving by. He holds onto Tooru tighter when he almost falls, scowling down at him.

“R-really? Sorry…” He’s starting to hiccup constantly and violently now, and Iwaizumi shoves him into the taxi seat, climbing in after him. He gives the address to the driver. “Where are- are we going?”

Iwaizumi looks back at him to see sad eyes, and he frowns, running his hand through his hair again. “Home.” Is all he says, and it's Oikawa's turn to frowns.

“My home? But then won’t you- won’t you- you have to leave- then?” He asks innocently, and Iwaizumi can’t keep the grin off his face. He kisses him quickly and that seems to perk Tooru up.

“We live together; in an apartment, like, ten minutes away from here.” He says, and leans back in his seat. Tooru takes this as a chance to practically crawl on his lap, his hands clasped on both of his shoulders.

“We-we do?” He whispers, eyes wide. Iwaizumi nods hesitantly, and blushes at the close proximity considering that they were in a _taxi_ with the driver _right there_. “I see you- you every-everyday?”

Iwaizumi nods again and tries takes Tooru’s hands off his shoulders, but he seems insistent with physical contact. “ _Everyday?_ ” He asks, his eyes narrowing.

“Well, I mean, I would think we see each other at least once an hour in our apartment.” Hajime says, glancing to the driver. He wasn’t looking, probably not even paying attention, which he was glad for.

Oikawa gasps, then leans in closer until their noses were bumping, eyes very wide. “Are we married?” He whispers loudly, and Iwaizumi blushes, probably a lot, by how much his cheeks burn.

“Uh-...no? Not yet?” He says questionably and bites his lips, his face on fire. They never really talked about it, so he didn’t really think about it. But now…

Oikawa blinks at him in surprise, and Iwaizumi finds himself asking,” Do you want to be someday?”

Tooru doesn’t respond, lost in thought. Hajime finds himself panicking, but Tooru speaks up again. “I want to. But ask me- ask me again when I’m- I’m sober.” He says, and Iwaizumi can feel the hiccups through him. They probably hurt and Hajime feels bad for letting him drink so much.

He doesn’t really know how to respond to that, so a small,” Okay,” Comes out of his mouth.

Tooru seems content with that, nuzzling into his neck and Hajime gets a whiff of vanilla from him. Tooru then smiles and starts to breath deeply. His hiccuping stops after a bit, and Hajime assumes he fell asleep. How simple of him.

After they arrive to their apartment, dragging Tooru out of the taxi and paying the driver, he lugs him into the elevator, then their apartment. He then throws him onto the bed, and tucks him under the covers after emptying out his pockets.

He rests his phone, wallet, and glasses onto the dresser and decides not to change Tooru into pajamas for revenge of letting himself get so drunk.

Hajime changes into comfy sweats after brushing his teeth from the alcohol, and joining him in the bed. Immediately, Tooru clings to him tightly, and Hajime lets him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh my god.” Tooru says loudly, horrified. It wakes up Hajime, who lifts his head sleepily. His eyes felt heavy.

“Wha?” He asks, voice dry and a pounding in his head.

Tooru is sitting up slightly, phone shoved to his face with his black glasses on, his face twisted in disgust. Hajime can hear a video playing on his phone.

“ _You already know my name_.” That was Hajime’s voice, slightly slurred. Then, after a pause, “ _Tooru, you don’t have to be nervous_.”

Silence, and then, “ _Ah, sorry…_ ” There’s some static, and a faint snicker that sounds like it’s from Hanamaki.

“ _No it’s fine! Super-_ ” Tooru hiccups. “ _Super fine_!” Then, deeper and seductive,” _You can call me To-_ ” Hiccup. “ _Tooru anytime_.”

Tooru, the one on the bed, cringes and then looks over at Hajime, who starts to laugh despite the headache. “You were so drunk. You didn’t even recognize us.” He explains, and Tooru just keeps staring at him.

After a moment, he looks back at his phone and watches the rest of the video without comment. Hajime watched his ever changing expressions of horror, disgust, and embarrassment.

When the video ends, Tooru looks back at Hajime, biting his lip. “Did I talk to anyone else? Or say something embarrassing? I don't remember anything.” He asks, and Hajime thinks back to the ending conversation in the taxi. His face heats up, and to hide it, he just moves closer to Tooru and hugs him tightly, hiding his face in his shoulder.

“Not really.” He mumbles and Tooru relaxes in his hold.

“Are you sure?” He asks again, trying to move so he could see Hajime’s face. Hajime doesn’t let him though.

“Not really, but I know that you didn’t say anything that you’ll regret.” He says, because a drunk man is more honest than a sober one.

Tooru doesn’t seem to trust him, but stops struggling anyway. Hajime doesn’t know how Tooru could even be able to talk, assuming that his hangover was massive and probably demanding attention to get out of bed and get some pain killers.

They stay in bed until the afternoon in a comfortable daze.

**Author's Note:**

> ehh ////
> 
> inspired by a whole bunch of stuff i read on tumblr a while ago 
> 
> [and let me explain something really quick, you don't necessarily forget everything, but you don't recognize people and names and everything when your as drunk as Oikawa. So it's not like, anything bad lmao]
> 
> visit me on my tumblr maybe! iwaizumixhajime.tumblr.com (copy and paste!!)


End file.
